I wouldn't over think it too much. If you enjoy the training you are more likely to do it long term. One year of training in any martial art is way better than 6 weeks of training in the ultimate one that you quit because you didn't enjoy it.
My background is aikido which is even more soft than Jiu Jitsu.
a) we don't spar beyond practicing particular techniques with a partner who is as compliant as you need or resists as you need. To be fair we also do a 'grinder' at least once a week where either novices or grades have the whole dojo run at them one by one and you have to throw them. Again though people are as compliant or as realistic as you feel you can cope with.
In a fight its hard to imagine you will use any of the techniques you really train. The point is you will flow to a certain extent with your attacker and avoid getting killed until you see a gap in which you can apply a technique. This is always how I understood it in Aikido, a real fight wont be as sexy as you practise on the mat, but if you see an opening like a wrist you can grab then it will be over very quickly.
b) The warm up seems excessive to me (it is at least 30 minutes maybe longer out of a 2 hour class) and irritates a little as I could do this in my own time. I'm probably not being patient enough about this though and I'm sure it's important to get warmed up properly.
yeah, HTFU any decent MA will have a longish warmup.
c) I spend an insane amount of time learning how to do forward, backwards and sideways rolls. Again I'm probably being impatient and this is important i'm sure.
This is an interesting issue actually, people from MMA don't see the point of rolling cos they are happy going to ground. In a real world situation if you go to ground and start grapping its pretty much over, thumb in eye, fish hook, broken fingers, ripped off scrotum. Always better to roll and stand up as quickly as possible.
Once you have mastered rolling you can amaze your mates when you come out the pub by doing forward rolls on the road, then wake up the next morning wondering why your tshirt is covered in dirt and you have a scab on your forearm.
d) As the Bushido thread notes there is a lot of emphasis it seems with the higher grades on knife stuff. I'd be happier just learning what to do if I'm punched/kicked and trying to run where someone has a knife
You can still run if someone pulls a knife. Training for knife attacks actually makes you more cautious cause you realise how easy it would be to get cut.
We used to train knife attacks a lot, when ever there was a stabbing in the news our instructor would do it for the next 2 weeks guaranteed. Would be silly not to train it if you want self defence.
e) We don't really practice striking because it is all reactive
This is good actually, cos you can defend yourself without necessarily attacking someone. Say your in a club and someone starts getting aggressive and pushing you. If you punch them, the situation will escalate or they could take you to court for BGH, not really ideal. If you use a wrist lock on them and take them to ground without breaking anything, situation is de-escalation and you both get to walk away without going to court (or you could break his arm).
From my experience, not trying to throw a punch makes you a lot more able to bloke punches and look for openings.
Very interesting topic and one that rattus probably has the more experience.
Dude looks indestructible!
(was only paying about 5 pounds a session for traditional jitus, this is like 25)