Tory infestations are almost as difficult to remove as mildew unless you nip them in the bud before they get established. Try:
* Sneak into the office and sow mustard and cress seeds in the carpet tiles in the shape of the word, "CUNTS" and water liberally.
* Pull the bogroll down, write, "STOP THE CUTS" on every fifth or sixth sheet, then carefully re-spool.
* Make paper aeroplanes out of pages of the Morning Star and chuck 'em through their window every time they open it for a bit of fresh air.
* Dress up as a fox and knock on their door. When they open it, just stand there in silence for a moment, shake your head and walk away. Repeat 10-12 times a day.
* Try very strong bleach, mixed with shaving foam.