Spugman, pass on the C&C (except the first, first C&C) and pick up Starcraft or Warcraft3. They are epic, fantastic and an adventure by themselves. UNLIKE ANY OTHER FUCKING RTS they actually have a story and background happenings crafted by eartists and pröfessional dezignrz, so the RTS to me was more of a "have to" just to keep the plot unraveling
But it is time to unravel my plot, for a grand spectacle was *supposed* to happen today, but like always it ended in misery:
KILLER TRIES HIS FIRST MUMORPEGER, GETS PISSED OFF!!!
For those new to the whole thing, think World of Warcraft = the second job you actually pay for.
Now, EVE ONLINE
. I have no clue to what made my expectations rise so high, for the very word ONLINE in the title concludes its misery. Maybe many hours spent playing wonderful shooters-traders in space?!
Elite has done it well. So did Frontier. And Xwing. Tie Fighter. THE ENTIRE FUCKING WING COMMANDER SERIES. Then Descent, and Freespace. And Freelancer. And many others.
All space f(L)ight games need to conform to THREE BASIC REQUESTS:
1. Flying around.
2. Shooting stuff
3. Making out with hot aliens
EVE FAILS IMMEDIATELY ON ALL OF THEM.
You fly around by clicking the fucking mouse, then context menu, set path, set target, bring up map, stick your elbow in your mouth and then your head in the arse, and then you move.
You shoot by clicking around for another modest five minutes, then finally clicking the WEAPON ICON, and then like in all proper mumorpegers, the ships automatically take turns shooting at each other!?
Dont even think about a hint of #3.
EVE, you suck in so many ways that if you were a prostitute I guarantue you would make even more money than with this bloated ubernerd nightmare that already earns you millions every month (who the F pays for this shit?! My 14 DAY trial period lasted a solid 45 mins and that was more than enough).
Ok ok wanna know more?
There are roughly 300 different skills. I am not kidding. You train them by queing them up and then not playing the damn game. I am still not kidding.
The intro calls you a demigod. I have a problem sharing a universe with several million other "demigods".
You customise your characters physical appearance for ~20 minutes at the start. Then you never get to see that face ever again, defeating the entire point of it.
No matter how much money you earn, you can't buy top equipment until you not play the game enough so you train your skills to certain levels.
And the overbloated screen and interface... Ugh... Serves me right for trying to get hooked on another job I have to pay for.
Next time, I'll spend the money on drugs instead.