Fun responses for vegans

Going vegan and new vegans in need of support or information.

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Postby Muay Jin » Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:26 am

I bought a couple of my friends some mock pork and fried noodle take-away, they thought they were eating real meat, lol (until I told them) anyway, the one I've only met a couple of times was like... "oh so you're vegan?... aren't vegan's meant to be like skinny and... small?" (I'm not big in the sense of fat, but I look muscly (even if most of it is good posture and I do have a nice set of b cup pecs going on =) ). So I jumped up on the desk (we were eating at an internet cafe that we goto regularly and barely anyone was there) and started dancing like a stripper would (sans removal of clothes) making girly orgasmic sounds...
Anyway he got the point, but he was blown away with the vegan food and how good it tasted =)
There is no try, only do.
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Postby estaphuam » Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:43 pm

"Why don't you eat meat?"

I just point to the empty space next to me and say: "he doesn't like it."

3 out 5 times, that really scares them. :)
"And now beside thee, bleating lamb,
I can lie down and sleep;
Or think on Him who bore thy name,
Graze after thee and weep."
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Postby Cookie » Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:32 am

estaphuam wrote:I just point to the empty space next to me and say: "he doesn't like it."



Ha ha this one definitely wins. Going to try that on the next person that asks me.
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Postby Hiking Fox » Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:03 pm

I once told a wildlife-loving meat enthusiast irritant with an attitude problem, that I only eat wild-caught British birds.

That really bothered him.
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Postby Konstantin » Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:58 pm

"Why don't you eat eggs and milk?"

"Well, I was vegetarian for years, then I thought, I don't eat my wife's periods, so why would I eat a chicken's?

Milk is good for you, but I got a book from the library and checked myself out and guess what?! I'm an adult! Then guess what else?! I'm not a cow! So it's not good for me. What about you?"
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Postby Ava Odoéména » Tue May 29, 2007 1:46 pm

[phaedral]


> I also like Erske's response because it's the polar opposite of the nearest
> and dearest veggie/vegan in my life, my little sister. I once saw her kick
> a dude in the shins with her steel toed boots for daring to eat a turkey
> sandwich in front of her.

Well your sister is neither vegetarian nor vegan then. Humans are animals as a quick look into a biology book will confirm, so violence against humans is not vegan.

> That attitude may not be as prevalent other
> places, but it always seemed to me too many vegans here in Southern
> California were humorless, stuck up, holier than thou sh*ts.

Hm. The defamation of vegans who have no shame confronting offenders with their deeds, a self-confident proclamation of the ethical rights of the victims usually is a persecutor of animal violators trying to put vegans down in order to feel better about themselves.

> Today I still allow honey and the occasional bit of fish

Bingo. So you eat meat and honey and you

> haven't even thought about giving up my Birkenstocks.

In other words, you're condoning and committing much more violence than those "folks", you like to smear as:

> sh*ttng all over people for what we
> disagree with."

Well let me tell you that I disagree with you on several important things. First, I would like you to allow fish. Allow them to live. If you have recurring dreams about eating the flesh of fish persons, discuss that with your therapist put please don't actually go forward with the act. Also, do the same if you have dreams about raping someone... You know, discuss it with your therapist but don't actually go forward with the act. Secondly, please don't steal insect puke from the bees. They put a lot of effort into collecting and swallowing nectar, transporting it into the hive in their stomachs to puke it out again - for themselves. There are many alternatives to bee puke in the health food shops. Ask yourself: "Why am I eating bee puke, but not cockroach puke?" Thirdly, and this a personal favor I'm asking from you, please take that passive aggressive bullshit of smearing vegans who confront you with your violations as violent fanatics (even *using* your own sister to do that) when in reality it is you who is the violent offender, write that passive aggressive bullshit down in a text processor of your choice, print it out, roll it up and shove it up your funky butthole.

> So I get to hang out with cool folks who are ahead of me
> on the curve and learn from them.

What you meant to say is that "Well I like to hang out with vegans for fetishistic reasons, however continue to do exactly as I please, eat meat, insect puke and walk around dressed in skin, and I preemptively shield myself from any criticism by manipulating group opinion using passive aggressive smearing and defamation tactics and I do not even stop abusing my own relatives to do just that."

> Pretty cool indeed.

Uh, maybe not.

> Peace.

We used to have a boy in our classroom who liked to pull the hair of girls and then shouted "peace" every time the victim flew around in the silly hope that could somehow hypnotize the victim by appealing to their moral sense while continue to do what he enjoyed. It often worked.
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Postby revolushuneyz » Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:14 pm

My most common responses:

1) Why are you vegan? "Pick a reason" (then I actually wait for one - or ten)

2) Because it totally gets me laid. (it's never actually gotten me laid, just for the record).
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Postby jemmyducks » Sat Jun 16, 2007 7:54 pm

Well, Ava Odoemena, that doesn't seem like a "fun vegan response".

I have to agree: eating my toenails and getting laid are two of the biggest perks to being vegan!

I work as a fitness instructor. Yesterday, one of my clients asked the usual, "Where do you get protein from?" I was tired of offering detailed information about nutrition, so I postponed it with, "I don't. I don't get any protein at all!"
Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach
San Francisco, CA

Check out my Training Log:
http://www.veganfitness.net/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=20845&p=341210#p341210

If at first you fail, train, train again.
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Postby Ava Odoéména » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:16 am

You're right. Sorry for the automatism. Us fanatical vegans do get these sometimes.
don't only question the system, but collaborate to improve it
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Postby Patte » Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:43 am

I have a friend that answare ppl with

"Im a vegan because i hate animals, and dont want anything to do with them at all.."
Me myself I ve got a cock between my legs
I don t eat chicken or hen or eggs
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Postby Man On Bike. » Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:15 am

erske wrote:A slow, little by little, developing grin followd by: Why? Do You feel threatened?? :twisted:
:D I think this is the best. Some people actually do feel threatened by veggies/vegans - it's easy to tell by the sudden change of facial expression, attitude and tone of voice - so I think the best response is to pick them up on it.

Why is it that people feel threatened anyway? Perhaps they think people who don't eat meat cannot be trusted?

jemmyducks wrote:Yesterday, one of my clients asked the usual, "Where do you get protein from?" I was tired of offering detailed information about nutrition, so I postponed it with, "I don't. I don't get any protein at all!"
Ha! I'm stealing that one!
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Postby puppydog » Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:00 pm

why are you vegan?

it's a personal sacrifice i make so that Americans can enjoy the double Big Mac.
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Postby tulia » Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:20 pm

My family is VERY religious.

Last night my sister said
"so vegans don't believe in God?"
"why do you say that?" I asked.
"Because God put the animals here for our use." (sister)
"Yes....and vegans are all going to hell for not "using" what god put on the earth for us." (me)

Anyway I am sooooo tired of explaining. When I am asked next time I am going to say "God revealed it to me." :twisted:
"If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going."
Irwin Corey
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Postby vegcrow » Sun Jul 08, 2007 2:04 am

tulia wrote:My family is VERY religious.

Last night my sister said
"so vegans don't believe in God?"
"why do you say that?" I asked.
"Because God put the animals here for our use." (sister)
"Yes....and vegans are all going to hell for not "using" what god put on the earth for us." (me)

Anyway I am sooooo tired of explaining. When I am asked next time I am going to say "God revealed it to me." :twisted:


The bible is like tofu. It can be used in so many ways... Some people make it really awful, some make it delicious.
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Postby Veganitaliana » Sun Jul 08, 2007 2:33 am

From my son to you:


"Why don't you eat (fill in the blank)?

"Cos it's shit."
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Gandhi

Faisons de la Terre un immense jardin, et non un abattoir...
Let's make the Earth a huge garden instead of a slaughterhouse... Stéphane Groleau www.veganquebec.net

Since raw is good enough for every other animal on the planet, it is good enough for me. I'd much rather be like any one of them than most humans anyway.
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