Should I be a hard man?

Styles, training, conditioning, equipment - everything related to Martial Arts.

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Postby emm7 » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:18 am

I am finding this topic fascinating..........
:D
I think some of you lads rather enjoy having the tables turned on you :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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And some guy's trying to sell me a watch"
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Postby vegcrow » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:40 am

Fighting is fun no matter what bits are in the crotchal area. Have fun kicking each others asses. vegetablemedley shows me some karate moves and we've given each other a fair amount of bruises. All in good fun.
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Postby :x: » Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:50 pm

[quote="Muay Jin"]
ps - Little background info here, she was walking along in a club not so long ago and a guy grabbed her arse, she said EXCUSE ME? then ripped out a cross and broke the guys nose... the bouncers didn't do anything because he had grabbed her arse first =)

wonderful!
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Postby Crash » Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:57 pm

It's great that you have agreed to a set of rules and can tell you from my point of view I really hate it if the guy I am sparring with takes it easy or holds back because of gender. I'd rather he won fairly than hold back and let me win. :?

If she's serious about the sport don't hold back, even if you have any doubts (despite your talk) because she's a girl. Don't hurt her (broken limbs, contusions), but don't hold back.
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Postby City_of_F » Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:51 pm

I knew a gal who was into blood sports (LOVED to fight). I'm not sure what the hell was wrong with her (I'm a passivist for the most part, with a very long fuse). I've been in a few fights and although I managed to win the day, getting sucker-punched in the temple put me in for an expensive hospital visit (just to make sure everything was where I left it).

I'd say if she wants to go full-contact, get some sparring gear. Tell her you'd feel horrible if you hurt her, and you'd hope she'd feel the same about you. Sparring gear keeps your teeth in place and with a cup, she can kick where-ever she likes.

Try to go for a good hold. I know some of the arm locks feel like your damn arm is going to pop off, so it would be a decent education with no permenant damage (of course, this will depend on how good she is. If she is kicking your ass, I'd say fight back).
It`s a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don`t keep your feet, there`s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” -Tolkein
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Postby Muay Jin » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:32 am

Yeah we both have shin guards and mouth guards, ill wear a box and we will be fine... if she really pops it ill grapple and just knee her raw :shock:
I feel really awful now :?
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Postby emm7 » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:47 am

[quote=":x:"][quote="Muay Jin"]
ps - Little background info here, she was walking along in a club not so long ago and a guy grabbed her arse, she said EXCUSE ME? then ripped out a cross and broke the guys nose... the bouncers didn't do anything because he had grabbed her arse first =)

wonderful!


I don't think that her breaking the man's nose is "wonderful", I think it's a serious overreaction.

In meat-market style nightclubs this kind of thing happens all the time men do it to women and women do it to men. Best to just complain in a loud voice to embarrass the guy, or make a loud jokey remark that would embarrass him, rather than break noses! Or better still change your choice of venue.

From the way the scenario has been described here, it's hardly as if he was attempting rape!

If you respond to someone's lack of self restraint with an even greater lack of self restraint then where's the good in that.

I thought martial artists were supposed to practice self restraint and wisdom in the proportionate use of their powers :?
"she was my better half and I was just a dog"
"I don't have a drinking problem except when I can't get a drink"
"No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch"
-- Tom Waits Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
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Postby fredrikw » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:55 am

[quote="emm7"]Or better still change your choice of venue.

...and this will change what? Nah, I think the guy deserves a punch in the face, we might argue whether a broken nose is over the top or just what someone should expect when sexually harassing someone else, but saying that the best option would be to go somewhere else is just passively accepting that behaviour. We need more people who actually reacts and does something about a shitty situation, not less. You actually think that the best action by the woman in this situation would be to passively just walk away, as is suggested by your quote above? :roll:
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Postby Crash » Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:51 pm

[quote="Muay Jin"]I feel really awful now :?

Why do you feel awful Jin?
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Postby Hiking Fox » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:06 pm

Ok... so if you're a bloke, who's that lass in the photo?

Or are you a pre-op TS?
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Postby puppydog » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:28 pm

^ i know, many a person has been disappointed that they weren't talking to a total babe all along.

I think I speak for everybody when I say, regardless of what you decide in terms of rules and protective equipment:

videotape that shit so we can see you get whooped!
Arf! Arf! Grrrr! Arf!
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Postby emm7 » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:48 pm

[quote="fredrikw"][quote="emm7"]Or better still change your choice of venue.

...and this will change what? Nah, I think the guy deserves a punch in the face, we might argue whether a broken nose is over the top or just what someone should expect when sexually harassing someone else, but saying that the best option would be to go somewhere else is just passively accepting that behaviour. We need more people who actually reacts and does something about a shitty situation, not less. You actually think that the best action by the woman in this situation would be to passively just walk away, as is suggested by your quote above? :roll:


It's best to pick one's battles wisely.

In this situation the woman doesn't know how strong the man is, his state of mind, whether he is intoxicated, whether he is an ex-Marine with PTSD and running on adrenalin and a hair trigger, etc.

A fight in a nightclub may have unforeseen consequences.

The most pragmatic and commonsense option for the woman is to complain loudly, and then if the behaviour doesn't stop, to leave.

Certainly I am against harrassment. However I think it is harsh and unwarranted to break another person's nose just because they thought it would be a good idea to squeeze my derrierre. Also it is dangerous as the situation could escalate from there (as described above).

Surely it's best to de-escalate the situation and keep a sense of reasonableness and proportion.

Fisticuffs isn't always the smart option.

I think that the act of breaking the man's nose was not only disproportionate but also foolish.

There are better things that could be done about this situation that would challenge the man on his behaviour in a smarter ( and kinder ) way.

I don't think he does deserve a punch in the face.

Why not keep one's sense of humour and deal with it in proportion.
"she was my better half and I was just a dog"
"I don't have a drinking problem except when I can't get a drink"
"No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch"
-- Tom Waits Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
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Postby emm7 » Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:17 pm

am wondering just now if culture has to do with this,

in UK pinching someone's derriere is seen as more of a joke and a worst a minor annoyance really, maybe it's not commonplace in other countries?

over here you know that if you visit crowded nightclubs it just comes with the territory and you know that at least one complete stranger (usually the worse for wear from several Beverages) will attempt it at some point in the night.....

what's much more worrying is the man who latches onto and follows a particular set of women around the nightclub despite them making several changes of location, and seems to be trying to isolate one of them away from the group, and keeps making creepy remarks, stares at them for overly long amounts of time in a way that doesn't seem standard, and has no ability to laugh at themselves. I'd be far more worried about a man like that IME. By the way this sort don't tend to pinch.

NB the vast majority of females who are raped, are actually raped by someone they know. (Acquaintance, date, ex-lover, current lover, etc. ) Stranger rape is incredibly rare. Rape itself is not as common as we might suppose from media scaremongering, if we look at statistics.

Maybe the female martial artist doesn't know this and is afraid and that's why she lashed out.

The overwhelming majority of men ARE NOT RAPISTS and have got ZERO intention of becoming so.

NB what if the situation were reversed and a lady had pinched a man's bum in a nightclub and he had then struck her in the face?????????
"she was my better half and I was just a dog"
"I don't have a drinking problem except when I can't get a drink"
"No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch"
-- Tom Waits Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
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Postby Hiking Fox » Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:46 pm

[quote="emm7"]
in UK pinching someone's derriere is seen as more of a joke and a worst a minor annoyance really


No, it is seen as assault, especially if someone does it in a workplace.

If someone who wasn't a good friend pinched my bum, I'd fucking kill them!
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Postby stateofflux » Thu Oct 30, 2008 4:05 pm

[quote="Hiking Fox"][quote="emm7"]
in UK pinching someone's derriere is seen as more of a joke and a worst a minor annoyance really


No, it is seen as assault, especially if someone does it in a workplace.

If someone who wasn't a good friend pinched my bum, I'd fucking kill them!


Do you really think most people here see that as a joke? I certainly don't. Like Fox, if someone laid their hands on me without my consent, my flinch reaction would be to kick their arse, or some area much more painful.
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